Taryn Talks

I'm shaking my head and also giggling with laughter. I have to admit something to you today. This summer, I spent a weekend figuring out how to amend a tax return and PAY the government $$$ instead of putting a presentation together.  If that's not a sign of procrastination, I'm not sure what is.

All because I was afraid that I wouldn't do a good enough job. I was stepping out of my comfort zone by leading a Lunch & Learn event which activated my inner critic's thoughts and instead I focused on something I could do. I got hijacked by procrastination. 

❓ Have you ever put something off and let yourself get distracted? 

I had let procrastination and overwhelm feed the monster of self-doubt. Instead of asking for help when I saw this emerging, I chose to ignore the feelings and took on the challenge of amending that tax return over the weekend.  I rationalized that I would feel better after this one thing was off my list first. It was a very seductive rational voice that lured me into its trap of avoidance.

And Ironically, the name of the topic was "How to Bust Your Brain Bullies in your Business". I was in a full-blown episode of being bullied by my inner critic brain bullies. Those voices that like to say "you don't know what you're doing!" and "who do you think you are talking about this if you are hijacked by us now?" and  "you're going to make a mistake".

All of these are lies.

What was true is that I was getting out of my comfort zone and crossing an edge in my business by presenting to a group of business leaders. I was on the doorstep of showing up more. It was okay that I was feeling nervous. 

So with massive compassion towards myself, I reached out to my support team (aka my coaches) and received help to break down the ideas, clarify my points,  and practice my presentation. I wasn't alone anymore. I felt supported.

To shake off the self-criticism that often accompanies after noticing that I've been hijacked I converted this into a gift of knowledge and inspiration. 

💎 I learned how to amend a tax return and it got filed! The bonus was checking it off my to-do list.

💎 I got just-in-time support from my coaches. Invaluable!

💎 I shared this example while recording a podcast with an author and fellow PQ Coach, Charlie Jett. Check out the podcast episode here @ PQ Podcast. 

❓ Do you have a fear of "showing up" more boldly in your business? Or does avoidance show up differently for you?

In case you were wondering, I did end up putting together a great presentation by following tips #2, 3, and 6 in the article below. I share several tips in the featured article on how to Avoid Procrastination.

I wish you all the best in this messy and imperfect world,

Featured Article

Procrastination: This is one good thing to Avoid!

Procrastination – Everyone Talks About it, but Nobody Does Anything about it…till now! 

Imagine the space this article fills as blank. 

Imagine the time and energy it might have taken someone who procrastinates to 1) think about doing the article, 2) put it on a list of “to-dos,” 3) talk about doing it, 4) promise themselves they will start it tomorrow, 5) promise they will definitely start it tomorrow, 6) promise…well, you get the point. 

As the deadline for the article draws near (it’s midnight the night before the article is due), imagine the stress the writer must feel as she makes a cup of tea and sets herself up for a couple of hours to research the topic, organize the information, create an outline, come up with a dynamite opening line, write the article, rewrite the article, rewrite it again, print it out and rewrite it one more time. And, of course, the whole time she’s beating herself up for waiting so long to start and telling herself she’s no good at this job anyway and the article will be a bust.

This is procrastination in its pit of ickiness.  Delay. Broken promises and unfulfilled expectations. Feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Worry. Fear. Stress. Overwork and probably not as good an end product as the writer would have produced if she’d tackled the job in a timely, reasonable, professional manner.

Procrastination isn’t good for anyone, anytime. So why do so many do it? Not just around such matters as filing income tax (or in my case, choosing to file an amended income tax return instead of creating a presentation) or having difficult conversations, but with everyday tasks such as cleaning off the desk or straightening up the garage or starting a project at work.

The more difficult, inconvenient, or scary the task is perceived to be, the more procrastinators procrastinate. They come up with semi-convincing self-talk that makes the delay appear reasonable, but in the end, it’s a self-defeating behavior that causes all sorts of problems, not the least of which is stress.

This is because they have become hijacked by an Avoider Saboteur and The Judge Saboteur. In the Positive Intelligence work by Shirzad Chamine, these and other hijacking behavior are at the root of causing much stress, unhappiness, and conflicts. Learn more about these and other hijacking behaviors here.

In the meantime, click here to receive 10 steps you can take to avoid procrastination and play a bigger game in your life. 

Sharing is Caring!

Sometimes you need to borrow someone else's confidence and courage as a beacon of light until you can step into your self-confidence. I learned this from Melinda Cohan back in 2018 when I enrolled in her Coaching Business System program. She had so much confidence that I could run a thriving business. This allowed me to start believing it too. It changed my life! I am excited to share that she has put her wisdom in a book that she is giving away for free until Monday, October 4th. 

If you are a coach or thinking of becoming a coach, please download a copy of her book, The Confident Coach, today! I listened to this on audible over the weekend and was reminded again of how important it is to have a coach who believes in your success. In turn, I get the privilege of believing in my client's potential. It comes full circle! 

So check out her book, The Confident Coach, and join her at her 3 days The Business of Coaching workshop. I'm honored to be a guest on her inspiration panel on Saturday!  Woot! 

Where I am Playing A Bigger Game...

Podcasts

In Episode 8 of the PQ Podcast hosted by the author of WANTED: Eight Critical Skills You Need to Succeed, Charlie Jett, we dig into The Avoider saboteur. This one is at the root of creating the procrastination vortex I mentioned in the article above. You'll learn about the lies and sabotaging behaviors created by this brain bully. 

The Avoider avoids difficult and unpleasant tasks and conflicts. It tells you to focus on the positive and pleasant things – but in an extreme way.

Individuals with the Avoider . . .
*Avoid conflict and say “yes” to things one would not normally want
*Downplay the importance of real problems and deflect others
*They have difficulty saying, “No”
*They have a tendency to resist others and use passive-aggressive means rather than act directly

They PROCRASTINATE! Listen here to learn how to avoid the Avoider!

In-person Event:

Softening as a Superpower

Let go of tension, control, and carrying everything on your own. Move from "I got this" to "We Got You".

Join us in a full-day, in-person workshop in the foothills of the Cascade on Sunday, October 24th. 

You'll be taken through at least 3 embodied exercises to shift you from the tension that comes from self-judgment into a softening of self-compassion.

We'll complete the workshop with our special guest, Riveroots, to celebrate your journey of embracing softening as a superpower. They'll guide us through an ecstatic dance experience that you won't want to miss!

Register Here

Virtual Event:

Hurry!  Limited seats are available.

Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness Bootcamp 

Did you resonate with the Avoider in the Podcast or in the Article shared above? This is just one of the 10 brain bullies that impact performance, happiness, and your relationships. Join us in an 8-week mental fitness BootCamp that will teach you how to intercept the negative thoughts and behaviors so you can play a bigger game in your life.

You're not alone.  Most business owners face a barrage of negative or limiting thoughts that keep them in a comfort zone that limits their potential. Want to learn what's holding you back and intercept it for good?

Join me in the next cohort of the Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness Bootcamp! You'll discover how to intercept the inner thoughts that hijack your ability to play a bigger game!

Learn More

Taryn Laakso is a leadership & mental fitness coach, guiding clients through a journey to intercepts limiting beliefs, ignite confidence, and integrate new ways of leading authentically to Creates a Living with joy & happiness instead of being in the drudgery of Making a Living.

She is differentiated by her focus on mindset and weaves together a variety of coaching tools to transform the lives of her clients. Taryn views herself as a “sherpa” whose role is to guide her clients through their journey from a life of practicality and fear to a life of passion and purpose along with profit.

 Connect with Me